超流行的成人幽默升级版
二十一世纪成人在线最新更新



1、某君住店，夜半致电吧台：最便宜的小姐多少钱？答：“一百，但是丑哦，漂亮的五百。”某君说要丑的。小姐来后，某君让其裸坐沙发，自去床上酣睡至天亮。小姐不解问：“叫我来干吗？”某君答：“房内蚊子太多！” (这个故事说明，只要转变观念，任何资源均可为我所用。)
　　
　　2、一女极丑，鬼见了都跑。一穷设计师把其制成年画，广告词写的是：挂门头，避邪；挂床头，避孕！此设计师因此得奖，进入小康阶层。
　　
　　3、一蚊子进城，饿极。见一小姐双乳高耸，遂一头扎入猛咬，结果满嘴全是硅胶，于是仰天长叹：“唉，食品安全太成问题了！上哪找放心奶啊？”
　　
　　4、庄稼汉进城买避孕套，忘了避孕套怎么说。在药店柜前转悠半天，还是想不起来。最后只好小声地问女售货员：小姐，有没有卖装jj的塑料袋？ 转自华声论坛
　　
　　5、一对情人做爱，男总喜欢说：“我要弄死你！”忽忽几日未见，女找到男单位，男问：有事吗？女柔声道：“也没啥事，就是不想活了……”
　　
　　6、一群妇女等候B超检查，护士喊：排好了啊，彩B的站左边；黑白B的站右边。一妇女不懂，掀开裙子退下内裤，问护士：你看我的算什么B？护士没好气地说：你是牛B！！
　　
　　7、母鸡对公牛发牢骚：“人类让我多下蛋，自己却计划生育，这太不公平了！”老公牛说：“你这算个屁呀？全世界人民都喝我老婆的奶，谁他妈的管我叫爹！”
　　
　　8、一对盲人夫妇约定做爱暗号，男人说：“打牌。”女人说：“开始。”隔壁小青年经常听到打牌，心想盲人怎么打牌呢？于是偷窥，一看原来如此。某日，小青年趁男盲人外出，溜进其家，对女盲人说：“打牌。”女盲人说：“开始。”于是两人xj。小青年本领大，至高潮处，女盲人连夸：“好牌。”到了晚上，男盲人又想与妻打牌，女盲人说：“你不是白天打了一次了吗？”男盲人一听，又急又气，惊呼：“不好，有人偷牌！”
　　
　　9、女领导夜归，突被两男架上车，一男威胁说：“老实点，劫色的。”女领导闻言笑骂道：“他爹的，这么愉快的事，搞得这么紧张，吓死了，我还以为被双规了！”转自华声论坛
　　
　　10、汽车嫁给火车，可不久就离婚了。大家问原因，汽车伤心地说：“他天天担心我被撞，我呢，时时怕他出轨，真受不了！”　
　　
　　11、某县原某局长，肚里没几点墨汁。局里新分配来的一位大学生，崇拜鲁迅，便在自己的案头玻璃下夹了一张鲁迅的照片。局长发现后，语重心长的对他说：“年轻人呀，要多学点马列、毛主席的著作；要摆也应该摆他们的照片，怎么能把你爷爷摆在这呢？”
　　
　　12、乡下，一小男孩满身大汗拉着一头牛。路过的游客好奇地问：〝你要把牛拉到哪去？〞
　　〝到邻村和母牛配种。〞
　　〝这样的事不能让你父亲做吗？〞转自华声论坛
　　男孩连连摇头：〝不行，一定得公牛才行！〞
　　
　　13、村里通知：集中母猪〝人工授精〞。大娘把母猪牵到兽医站的院子里，兽医同志指着天井告诉大娘，〝拴在那里，等会来牵回去就好。〞
　　大娘看到天井很脏，犹豫了一会，问道：〝这里就好呀？要不，我去给你们抱把稻草来。〞
　　〝不用不用，一下子就好了。〞
　　过了一会，大娘去领回母猪，同志对她说：〝好啦！这次保证一胎十二只。〞
　　大娘一脸疑惑，说：〝十二只是好，但生出来都像同志你，这猪可怎么卖啊？〞
　　
　　14、医生与院长不和，被调至妇科，窃喜。次日接看女患者数十名，连摸带看，持续勃起八小时。晚上老婆缠着做爱，阳萎不举。才恍然大悟：干他娘！又被领导暗算了！
　　
　　15、一医科大学生到乡村医院实习，不懂说农村的话。一次接诊一位大嫂，叮嘱她不能与丈夫〝性 交〞，大嫂听不明白，解释了半天，她还是强调：〝我丈夫姓郑！〞
　　
　　16、美国选情畅想：如果希拉里当选美国总统，最爽的当算克林顿----他干了8年美国总统，又至少能干美国总统4年！
　　
　　17、文革后期，公检法未恢复、健全，抓人的事全凭局长一支笔审批。我们那里有个青年民警准备结婚，打个报告送给局长。正在打牌的局长大笔一挥，签下四只字：同意逮捕！
　　
　　18、汕头话把洗脸叫洗面。一从北方调来的女市长，下乡到农家访问，男主人热情端来洗脸水，说：〝请市长洗下面。〞市长楞了。随员只好解释说：〝是当地风俗，搬进房里洗吧！〞 转自华声论坛
　　
　　19姐姐出差，晚上姐夫和小姨子在客厅聊天，姐夫问：〝你税后多少钱?〞小姨子脸一红，小声说：〝和姐夫睡还提钱！〞
　　
　　20、C 君去海南旅游回来，我问去没去万泉河畔，他说去了，还看到很多娘子军。然后在我耳边补充说：都是黄色的

o(∩_∩)o...哈哈   真是太有意思了

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[b][size=3][color=#f76809]声波筷子消毒机[/color][/size][/b] 一种国家优秀专利项目－《超声波全自动筷子消毒机》现已开始上市。它集自动消毒，安全存放，自动输出为一体。每台机器佩戴200双仿像骨筷子。使用筷子时只需按动按钮筷子即自动输出机外。它具有体积小、使用方便、成本低、耗能少、寿命长等特点。它适用于一切公共餐饮场所。
       节省开支：以一小饭店为例，使用一次性筷子每月费用150元以上，使用一台筷子消毒机不到三个月收回了成本，以后不需支出筷子费用。某高校食堂每天需支出一次性筷子费用200元，使用筷子消毒机后，当年节省开支5万多元，其他一些食堂和饭店都收到了同样效果。
       讲卫生上档次：它有效地将治病病菌、病毒杀灭。经省防疫站检测达到卫生标准。使用它可以解决目前社会上使用的各种筷子的不卫生问题。如一次性筷子在运输、储放过程中的污染。经消毒柜消毒后的筷子在上纸套过程中触摸和纸套的污染等。
       使用它在保证了就餐者健康的同时提高了服务质量和社会文明。
       环保节约：专家预测在不到10年内一次性筷子将用掉国内所有森林，目前森林已大面积减少，已经造成严重的后果，如土地大面积荒漠化，河流断流，沙尘暴等。使用一台筷子消毒机一年可保护几十课大树，如果全国普遍应用可保护人类赖以生存的环境。
        
[size=3][color=#ff0000][b]超声波全自动筷子消毒机价格：350元  批发另议[/b][/color][/size]
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有意思！！！！！！！